Suffocation

At 7:40 in the morning I am called urgently upstairs by E who exclaims that M has her leg stuck in her bed. I assume that M just has both legs through the slats on the headboard of her toddler bed. Wrong! What I find upon entering M's room is M in tears and one knee wedged in between two slats in the metal headboard. Not being one to panic (at least not yet) I try pushing her little kneecap back. Nope. I try moving her knee up or down. Nope. No movement. Nothing. M is screaming and crying because she is stuck. I stop and try to think how we can get her knee in a smaller position because she had to get it in somehow. Yet she has it perfectly placed so that I can't extend her leg straight because there isn't any room to maneuver. Now I panic. How can I get her knee out. I can't budge the metal rods so I can't bend them or break them off. Her knee seems stuck. Meanwhile E is telling M, "You're going to suffocate and die!" M starts crying even harder. I tell E that she isn't helping and to leave the room. E goes and wakes up her sister, T who comes in to investigate and E once again says, "M you're going to suffocate and die!" T then asks, "Is she?" "No" is my very firm reply. I'm loosing patience with E using the wrong word choice and for scaring M. I don't want to have to call the fire department and tell them my child has her knee stuck in her bed. I don't want to call my neighbors because off all the mornings I didn't get dressed before I went downstairs and I'm still in my pajamas. What to do?

Butter, margarine--anything greasy comes to my mind. I run downstairs and grab the tub of butter. I come back up, M is still crying and passing E on the way up the stairs she says, "M is going to suffocate and die isn't she?" "No" I say exasperated, "she isn't going to die. You're using the wrong word." I hurry into M's room and proceed to slather her little knee with the butter and then I pushed on her kneecap and out her little knee came. She was still shaky and only wanted to be held. E and T are in the doorway thinking that butter was a good idea. I calm M down enough and then go and find E telling her that to suffocate means you can't get any air into your lungs. M was in no danger of suffocating and that next time she shouldn't say that anyone is going to die because it just makes the other person scared.

What a way to start the day.